Facebook and Birthdays

I enjoy writing, I really do.  The problem I have when sitting down to write though is that I have so much that I want to get out of my head and onto paper, that thoughts stray into other topics quite easily which sometimes results in something that more resembles a brain dump than a cohesive paragraph. I am forever editing, tweaking, and rearranging my words so that the piece that I present at the end seldom results in what I had imagined when I first sat down. But since this is my blog and not something official, I appreciate your patience while I ramble toward my conclusion.   

While on staff at a local church, I wrote a bimonthly column, I often tried to explain my "free style writing style” to my “editor” Ann Wagoner, by sharing with her that the thoughts in my head were so varying and scattered that they felt like butterflies begging to be caught and contained.   Using that visual, my friend, Susan Loncar, an excellent graphic artist created the logo you see here. Though she captured my style quite aptly and I like it very much, I can’t help but confess that my thoughts are not always as perfectly pleasant and carefree as these butterflies seem to be; quite often I have a few horseflies or wasps get snagged in that net.  I hope to avoid those pests today, by focusing on something we all have in common, something much more simple and uncomplicated (LOL)..... Facebook and birthdays.

I have been a Facebook fan since the beginning of Facebook.  When Facebook was just a blip on the radar of most, I was already busy becoming "friends"with people I had already been friends with for decades. Immediately I saw the value in being able to share, even if it was vicariously, with people that I had fallen out of touch with and to engage with the numerous volunteers involved in the ministries I was charged with overseeing. I saw it as a place where I could bump into my extended family which is chock full of Toolans, Farnans and Fowxes (hey spellcheck, there is not supposed to be an apostrophe to pluralize these names) most of whom I haven't even met yet and to of course, stalk my children..

Written in my Grandma's own hand, her "family tree"

My life, as I imagine is yours, is clearly segmented into chapters and I especially appreciate being in touch, even if its tangentially, with people who began their lives in my hometown and with whom I share common memories. It's fascinating and endlessly interesting that we all started in the same place and have now been flung far and wide and are circling in completely different orbits, proving once again that no matter what plans we had for our lives in those days were just templates, ultimately it was God's call that determined where we landed.

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."

 Proverbs 16:9

Though Facebook has lost some of its original focus and has at times caused me to descend into dissension with my friends, overall I still really appreciate the way it connects me to others in meaningful ways. I have noticed lately though, that of the 1300 or so Facebook friends, that I have that there are less than half that I ever interact with at all. The other day as I was scrolling down the list I was baffled at how there are so many on my list whose posts I never even see, which completely deconstructs the intent of having it in the first place. 

Facebook reminds me daily that friends are celebrating birthdays and I am prompted to send a greeting. Having been the recipient of hundreds of thoughtful and encouraging birthday posts throughout the years, I appreciate how affirming a birthday on Facebook can be. But it's really, really hard to be faithful in wishing all of my Facebook friends a meaningful not generic birthday greeting, though I really want to and to execute it well. 

To remedy this, I hope (no promises) to use this blog space every couple of weeks or so, to highlight my Facebook friends in their birthday month by mentioning a bit about how we met and by remembering a moment we shared together. Each Facebook friend represents a relationship in real life and I think that being more intentionally aware of the part they played in my life and how I have been influenced by their friendship might be more meaningful to them than a passing "Happy Birthday" on Facebook. June is a big month for birthdays on my Facebook, so let's get this birthday march rolling and celebrate through the first week of the month!

June 1

Photos of Eddie, courtesy of  Joey Geary

I'd like to begin this new endeavor by celebrating a friend who never landed on Facebook, but yet he didn't have to be for me to remember his birthday. Though we had lost touch over the years, I always thought of him on June 1.   Eddie Geary was one of the great number of kids that grew up in my neighborhood.  Eddie was quiet and sensitive but he was a faithful and gentle friend who who was desperately misunderstood while we were growing up.  We shared many wonderful times together as children and for as long as I live I will never forget those early carefree days.  Eddie died just before Christmas last year and since he was one of my very first friends in life, its fitting that he is the first person I celebrate on my new quest.   Rest in peace Eddie!

Shannon Green and I first met while I was on staff at Hershey Free.  At the time she was dating a guy who was one of my volunteers.  Through Facebook I was able watch her grow into a confident mom, endure and overcome adversity and heartbreak, further her education and seek a new career. And now, I can rejoice with her as she rejoices!  God tells in in Philippians 1, that He will always complete what he started. 

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." 

Lee Anne Sattazahn and I first met when I was on staff at Hershey Free.  From the first day I met her, she has continued to encourage me in ways she couldn't begin to imagine.  Her ability to remain focused on the Lord through some pretty major health concerns taught me a lot about courage and trusting in the Lord.

Dan Hassell is a man of integrity like few I've ever known.  I served under his leadership while on the board of HCPAC for several years and I think he is one of the wisest and kindest men I have ever been acquainted with. He has an uncanny way of slicing through the fluff and identifying the heart of an issue with few words, Yet when he does speak he speaks thoughtfully and commands a room because everybody present knows that when he speaks, his words are wise and worth listening to.

 "The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered".

Proverbs 17:27

Rachel Oellig was a student at Hershey Christian School where I also served on staff as both secretary and lunch coordinator.  What I remember most about Rachel is how talented an actress she is.

Sandy Hohn is a gentle and compassionate soul who mothered the sweetest kids.  She is an ASL interpreter who faithfully interpreted the church services for our hard of hearing congregants. I most recently saw Sandy giving of her time interpreting at the Highmark Walk for a Healthy Community.  

June 2

Eileen Smith and I first met while I was the lunch coordinator at Hershey Christian School while her son, Zach, was a student.  Eileen always ordered every lunch regardless of what was on the menu.  I think she was the only one that did that.  I came to know her better through the years through Hershey Free and now Grace Point.  Though today is her birthday, I saw her at the funeral for a young friend this evening.  That is an example of her selfless spirit.  She is always smiling whenever I see her.

Lizz Andrews will always be "Bruno's mother" in my head, though she is oodles more than that.  I have seen her interact with her grandchildren and it is quite obvious that they share a special bond.  I love her enthusiasm for life and the obvious sparkle in her eye when shes speaking with children.

Robert Hoke, is a set builder extraordinaire.  He is a creative passion and a get it done attitude, one can always count on Bob to come through in a pinch, especially if his sweet and talented daughter, Allison was involved.

Dan Hahn is completely unflappable.  If the walls are crumbling, you'd want him to be in the room because his optimism and positivity will conquer any situation.

James Black, a man who loves his wife and children as fiercely as he loves his LORD.  He is steadfast and clear thinking, not prone to drama or excitement.  I have seen him remain steady in many storms which encourages everybody else around him. 

June 3

Admittedly, I don't know Jared Spidel very well at all,  We first became friends on Facebook in 2008 because his wife, Meredith, was not on Facebook.  He was a medical student at the time and she was one of my volunteers. 

June 4

I first met Jess Hollenbach when she and her mom volunteered for me when Jess was about 16.  I witnessed her life up close and personal since then and am proud to say that at about 30 years old, she is a wonderful wife, fantastic mother, a woman of integrity and generous with treasure, talent and time. 

Mike Burkholder has been transformed from student himself to a teacher of renown in the time that I have known him.  I'm fascinated by the stories he shares about "his kids" and the impact they make on his life and vice versa.  He is a gifted and talented musician and such a sweet spirit, I sometimes wonder if he wasn't born in the wrong era. 

June 5 

DeFord Davis I met when our oldest boys were in first or second grade which I guess was about 17 years ago.  I forget exactly under what circumstances we met, but I clearly remember the first discussion we ever had and it was about her desire for a spot to open up for one of her children at Hershey Christian School.  Through the years I have been inspired by her passion for women ensnared in the sex trade both domestically and internationally and have tried to support her efforts in small ways whenever I was able to do so.  I'm pretty sure nothing would make her happier on her birthday than to have you become involved in this mission by visiting;  https://warinternational.org/

Ginny Heller had the most adorable and precocious toddler in the world and it was through that sweet baby that I met her mom.  Ginny sang in the choir at our church and I will always remember the joy on her face as she stood on those risers singing her heart out for the Lord.  

Michele Friel is technically my step niece, she is my brother's step daughter, but she is the mother of my brother's grandchildren which makes her family in every sense of the word.  Michele was a quiet little girl who was quite arts and crafty and she loved one on one attention.  In the time that I have known her, she has grown from a child herself into a confident and caring mother.  

Kellie Salvaggio was one of my first friends when I moved to Pennsylvania.  We literally shared a backyard at one point.  Kellie trusted me with her most precious possession, her baby, Erin. I cared for Erin during the week while her parents worked and I am so proud to share that Erin is currently serving in the Peace Corp in Cambodia.  Kellie, is a kind and gentle soul and I am forever grateful for the privilege of caring for her daughter for as many years as I did.  

Ellen Deibel was another fun volunteer that I served with.  Ellen has a sense of adventure, loves to travel, adores her family and knows how to enjoy just living in the moment.  

June 6    

Bruce Clutcher was wearing a mint green nursery smock on the first day I met him.  When I took over my position at Hershey Free, I was handed a list of what I was told were the names of all my current volunteers.  Unfortunately, most of the people who appeared on the list weren't exactly current in their status, but there were a few who were and Bruce was one of them.  I'm pretty sure there is nobody out there who is more committed to serving or who could be counted on more faithfully.  I will never forget the questions he asked when we met, he was so sincere in wanting to get to know me and I will always appreciate that about him. 

Randy Strauss was a bartender at the local establishment that my friend's family owned in the late 70s and early 80s while he was a student..  I was never much of a drinker and I still don't really like the taste of alcohol so I never knew what to order,  He suggested a "sombrero" and to this day whenever I have a mixed drink, that is what I choose.  In spite of his bartending start in life, he turned out alright.  He is the proprietor of his own consulting business. http://www.straussgroup.com/

Mary Beth Toolan Fanelli is one of the aforementioned Toolan clan and she is my contemporary.  Her dad, Frank, was one of my grandmother's favorite nephews (she had many favorites).  Frank sang at my wedding to Brad. Mary Beth and I have talked about the possibility of starting some sort of Facebook page to connect all the cousins in one place. 

In memory of Patrick Snee, who was my neighbor and the father of two precious little girls.  Patrick lost his battle with addiction in 2009 at the age of 25, leaving behind a long trail of broken hearts.  It gives me such pleasure to still be able to watch your babies grow through the great gift of Facebook, they are beautiful in every way!

Steve Santos is a kind-hearted man with a joyful spirit.  He is wise in the ways of the Lord and is a well respected pastoral leader to his church.  I first met him through his son, Steve, a free-spirited musician who was gifted in writing songs in the moment. 

June 7

Caleb Flick is one of the finest pianists I've ever heard and he is a great encourager of youth and adults as well. 

Janice Brubaker, a sweet lady who freely shares her great talent for painting creatively on practically every surface.  I remember when they converted the room next to my office to a prayer room, I had many chances to interact with her.  Th depth of her talent is pretty astonishing.

Beth Oyler, is also a former volunteer and parent of a children who came through my ministry.  The really wonderful thing about Facebook is being able to watch your "former" kids grow via your friendship with their parents. Beth is a gentle and patient teacher and I was always impressed with how she never raised her voice. 

Julia Tolosa is a fabulous example of God's faithfulness.  I met Julia when our boys were in first grade together.  I had a front row seat as this beautiful young mom worked full time as a nurse and was a single parent to two sweet kids.  As busy as she was, she always made time to be at school functions and to volunteer for activities and I greatly admired her.  I had the great joy of watching Julia her and her best friend slowly drift from "friends" to husband and wife.  Together they serve, laugh and love and their relationship brings me great joy.   

FINAL WORD FOR THE DAY 

When I sat down to write this morning, I had no idea what an undertaking this blog effort would be. Tonight I attended a memorial service for a young 27 year old mother and was reminded of the brevity of life.  I was reminded that no moment should exist in a vacuum, that everything we do should be purposeful and intentional, because life really is tenuous.  I sat in the sanctuary tonight remembering all the interactions and conversations that I had with Olivia and wishing that I had said more, done more or encouraged her more.  I was convicted of the fact that I never want to feel that way again and it made me doubly determined to follow through with this endeavor hoping that it will encourage or bless somebody when they need it most. Pastor Bob nailed the service tonight and knocked the ball right out of the park.  Few could do what he did this evening, he took the saddest possible circumstances and transformed them into hope for the future and hope in Christ.  

One of the songs that was sung tonight was "Lord I Need You"  It just so happens that my son, Brendan and his friend recently sung it and it was recorded.  I hope you listen to the words and feel your need for Him too!

My birthday greeting for you my friends is from Psalm 20, may this be so in your lives!  

Happy Birthday!

"

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. 

May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests. 

Now this I know: The LORD gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand. 

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God."